I just received my new Mothering Magazine in the mail yesterday (March/April 2008), what a blessing!! It has two, count them, two articles on cloth diapers. What great timing, as this is one of the great unknowns for me. I have been around cloth diapered children before, my aunt had 5 kids in quick succession who were all CD'd, so I know about dunking dirties in the toilet, but it has been a while and I didn't do a lot of the diapering. Did I mention that was 20 years ago? There are so many new options. I am so excited that I want a couple of all of them! *dancing in my chair*
It looks like I'd like a few of every type, but I want to make sure to mention all-in-ones (AIO), they're a little easier for daddy's and babysitters who haven't figured out the other CD options! Also, if one was so inclined to do some easy internet searching, there are so many websites that offer patterns for making diapers, it may reduce the cost quite a bit.
One of the best things that I learned is that I wont need as many CD's as I thought. I figured I'd need 100 or something. The author of one of the articles said one could easily get away with 30-35 CD's. The over-worrier in me makes me want to ask for a total of 40 or so, but is nice to know that I can definitely get away with less, especially if I'm willing to do an extra load of diapers.
I found this site that carries hemp diapers in a variety of styles. I am a bit of a hemp activist as it is a much more ec0-friendlier product than cotton. It tend to run a little more expensive, but when you start to calculate the ecological and environmental impact of cotton, hemp becomes a lot less expensive!
Oh, my goodness, I just found the cutest site *act like a teenager at the mall*! It's called Happy Tushies, I think I'm in love. I found them through my favorite cloth pad site, Lunapads.com. It has cloth diapers, diaper bags, wipes, everything, *giddy*. I have to admit that I had only thought about diaper bags, once or twice and never while writing in my blog, well everything happens for a reason. I think I know what I want in a diaper bag (diaper bag in Midnight Flowers with solid blue liner and the lg changing pad and reg. wetbag in rainbow batik). I would love to have a wonderbag with snaptab (in ocean stripe batik pattern subject to change once Daddy looks through the patterns) that Daddy can carry and not feel silly. I want a pail liner, which almost makes a diaper pail unnecessary. Of course, I want almost everything HT offers, but I have to keep in mind that I'm trying to parent with as little as possible, *nodding very seriously*. Oh, the pattern options for cloth wipes, I can't choose, I want all the Asian patterns, but then all the cute batiks they have, oh the agony...(it would be nice to have at least two patterns, one for butts and one for faces or to wipe off Mama's shirt). I'm lost in wish-list land, like a 5yr old with the toy section of the new Sears catalog.
SLINGS! Oh, boy (or girl), I love 'em, but of course, I've not had a baby so haven't used one. I am going to make one for myself and one for Rob, in the pattern seen here. However, to avoid pain from repetitive positioning, I'd like 3-4 other styles for myself and at least 1 more for Rob (if he needs another, we'll buck up and get it ourselves!). I'm going list the type of sling with a link to a specific site, but you may find a better price elsewhere and I encourage that! I found a great site for Mei Tai baby slings and it has become my favorite!! They have so many options, I know that I want a black strap base, but beyond that, I can't narrow the pattern(s) down just now, maybe a gift certificate for this one is a better idea. I do know that I want to "make it zippy", adjustable, and add a snap tab extender! That's an extra $38, on top of the initial cost, if you want to get this for me, I'd be happy to contribute to the extra cost, I'm just so excited by this product! I'd like a Moby Wrap in indigo or a neutral color, chocolate, olive, moss, or sand. Another that I like is the Maya with padded shoulder, in solid ivory. I think that covers it for now as that would land me with 4 slings. Daddy can maybe borrow one of mine if the color suit him, or maybe someone will pick one of these in his own color. He does like oranges, brighter greens, his eyes are a beautiful bright blue that pop when he wears a like color, or you can ask him his preference! I've been told that daddies like carriers like the Baby Bjorn, but I'd just as soon wait until Rob asked for one of those, I'll let you know if he shows an interest!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
#4 A Few Things I'd Like Before Baby
There are a few things that we are looking to get before the baby comes, either to make our home a better place for our growing family, for my comfort in pregnancy, or for the birth. Some of the items listed won't seem like gifts associated with babies, but I'm just going to list everything!
We are planning a home birth and would love to have a birth pool available to me to labor and/or birth in!! I want to specifically support Waterbirth International (it looks like they'll make it through they're financial difficulties, should they not before my birth, there is a local contact that rents out birth pools). I'm looking at the Birth Pool in a Box Eco - Regular Size.
Even as a doula, I'm planning on taking a birth class. I'm looking into taking a Bradley Method class, as it is father centered. I want Dear Husband (DH) to be comfortable and confident in this experience.
We have hired a doula, we haven't finalized with payment yet, but the agreement has been made. Her cost is $400 (a steal given her skill level), I'm guessing we'll pay half fairly soon and half after the baby is born, at least that's how it was recommended that we charge in our doula class. As I said in a previous post, she is skilled in many things besides being a doula. I foresee taking advantage of as many of her skills as possible, therefore would like to be able to give her a generous tip!
A birth ball (update: I got the birth ball) and a body pillow (update: I got a body pillow!!) are on my list of must haves. I admit that I won't wait very long to be gifted these items as my body is already telling me all about the changes that are happening within! I guess that I mention them more for posterity, than for myself!
A couple other things that I'll list that we don't really expect as gifts: rather than a crib, we are planning to bed-share, so we need a new and larger mattress (probably a queen, we'll probably start with just the mattress on the floor and build it up to a "set" over the next year or so to spread out the expense and we'll get a little bed when it's needed for our growing child). We'll be getting it at Ikea, as they use less toxic flame retardants (phosphor organic flame retardants) on their furniture. While we're there we also intend to pick up a new couch (probably in Simris Blue and hopefully a spare cover), as we are currently using a futon, not very comfortable for sitting, worse for breastfeeding.
I'm going to mention this on behalf of DH, as one day he was joking, "Can't we ask that instead of stuff they just put money in our Health Savings Account (HSA)?" We have a HSA through Wells Fargo, as offered by DH's employer. We can, as a family, contribute $5,800 a year, we hope to put in $2,000, this year. There is no "use it or loose it" policy, anything we don't use will roll over to be used at any time in the future. I believe that anyone can contribute to the account until we reach our limit, if you're interested, please contact us or our soon to be announced go-to person!
I'm getting to the point where my requests will start overlapping with post-birth. As the women will know, and maybe some men, vaginal secretions increase with pregnancy and then, of course, there is the post birth lochia. I already use cloth menstrual products, but would like a few more, as I only have a basic package. There are quite a few new companies that supply these items. The ones that I have are from Luna Pads for examples of what I'm interested in, see their Deluxe Kit ($130), I see it as a combo of their Starter Kit or 7 Day Mini Pantyliner Kit (both $70 each, for pregnancy) and the Postpartum Kit ($80), mixed patterns o.k. I'm also interested in the Deluxe Lunablanket, in hearts or sky blue. Please remember to check the sale sections of any site! For DIY click here
I'm realizing that there are things that I wont need until after the baby is born, but that they'd be good to have on hand when the baby is born. Therefore, they belong on this list! I hear a bonus to breastfeeding is leaking breasts, so that brings me to breast pads. I'd like to have re-usables, 100% cotton to allow air flow. As some women never experience leaking while others like a friend of mine had leakage issues as early as 7 months into her pregnancy, I am only putting on my wish list 6 -10 pads, whatever one would expect in a starter pack! Homemade sounds great!
A car seat, while I intend to have a homebirth, one never knows what will happen. I originally assumed that I wouldn't be leaving the house with baby for a little while, but just in case, we should have the car seat on hand before the baby is born! I've read a little on Consumer Reports about the seats. An infant seat is recommended, followed by a convertible seat, however, one can use a convertible seat for an infant. While they strongly suggest investing in an infant seat and moving up to a convertible, I am a trying to keep our expenses down and am leaning towards just getting a top of the line convertible. R and I will need to re-subscribe to consumer reports to get the recommendations on convertibles, so check back for our request.
Another item that overlaps with pregnancy and post-pregnancy - bras. I'm hoping to get a few bras that I can wear later in pregnancy and then also for breastfeeding. I've been sized at Judy's Intimate Apparel here in Tacoma, for my wedding and they did a great job, I plan to return there for this new need. They were the first in the area to have bras for breast cancer survivors.
I'll start the next blog entry with items that I foresee needing for me after the birth of the baby and then follow those with items that the baby will need.
We are planning a home birth and would love to have a birth pool available to me to labor and/or birth in!! I want to specifically support Waterbirth International (it looks like they'll make it through they're financial difficulties, should they not before my birth, there is a local contact that rents out birth pools). I'm looking at the Birth Pool in a Box Eco - Regular Size.
Even as a doula, I'm planning on taking a birth class. I'm looking into taking a Bradley Method class, as it is father centered. I want Dear Husband (DH) to be comfortable and confident in this experience.
We have hired a doula, we haven't finalized with payment yet, but the agreement has been made. Her cost is $400 (a steal given her skill level), I'm guessing we'll pay half fairly soon and half after the baby is born, at least that's how it was recommended that we charge in our doula class. As I said in a previous post, she is skilled in many things besides being a doula. I foresee taking advantage of as many of her skills as possible, therefore would like to be able to give her a generous tip!
A birth ball (update: I got the birth ball) and a body pillow (update: I got a body pillow!!) are on my list of must haves. I admit that I won't wait very long to be gifted these items as my body is already telling me all about the changes that are happening within! I guess that I mention them more for posterity, than for myself!
A couple other things that I'll list that we don't really expect as gifts: rather than a crib, we are planning to bed-share, so we need a new and larger mattress (probably a queen, we'll probably start with just the mattress on the floor and build it up to a "set" over the next year or so to spread out the expense and we'll get a little bed when it's needed for our growing child). We'll be getting it at Ikea, as they use less toxic flame retardants (phosphor organic flame retardants) on their furniture. While we're there we also intend to pick up a new couch (probably in Simris Blue and hopefully a spare cover), as we are currently using a futon, not very comfortable for sitting, worse for breastfeeding.
I'm going to mention this on behalf of DH, as one day he was joking, "Can't we ask that instead of stuff they just put money in our Health Savings Account (HSA)?" We have a HSA through Wells Fargo, as offered by DH's employer. We can, as a family, contribute $5,800 a year, we hope to put in $2,000, this year. There is no "use it or loose it" policy, anything we don't use will roll over to be used at any time in the future. I believe that anyone can contribute to the account until we reach our limit, if you're interested, please contact us or our soon to be announced go-to person!
I'm getting to the point where my requests will start overlapping with post-birth. As the women will know, and maybe some men, vaginal secretions increase with pregnancy and then, of course, there is the post birth lochia. I already use cloth menstrual products, but would like a few more, as I only have a basic package. There are quite a few new companies that supply these items. The ones that I have are from Luna Pads for examples of what I'm interested in, see their Deluxe Kit ($130), I see it as a combo of their Starter Kit or 7 Day Mini Pantyliner Kit (both $70 each, for pregnancy) and the Postpartum Kit ($80), mixed patterns o.k. I'm also interested in the Deluxe Lunablanket, in hearts or sky blue. Please remember to check the sale sections of any site! For DIY click here
I'm realizing that there are things that I wont need until after the baby is born, but that they'd be good to have on hand when the baby is born. Therefore, they belong on this list! I hear a bonus to breastfeeding is leaking breasts, so that brings me to breast pads. I'd like to have re-usables, 100% cotton to allow air flow. As some women never experience leaking while others like a friend of mine had leakage issues as early as 7 months into her pregnancy, I am only putting on my wish list 6 -10 pads, whatever one would expect in a starter pack! Homemade sounds great!
A car seat, while I intend to have a homebirth, one never knows what will happen. I originally assumed that I wouldn't be leaving the house with baby for a little while, but just in case, we should have the car seat on hand before the baby is born! I've read a little on Consumer Reports about the seats. An infant seat is recommended, followed by a convertible seat, however, one can use a convertible seat for an infant. While they strongly suggest investing in an infant seat and moving up to a convertible, I am a trying to keep our expenses down and am leaning towards just getting a top of the line convertible. R and I will need to re-subscribe to consumer reports to get the recommendations on convertibles, so check back for our request.
Another item that overlaps with pregnancy and post-pregnancy - bras. I'm hoping to get a few bras that I can wear later in pregnancy and then also for breastfeeding. I've been sized at Judy's Intimate Apparel here in Tacoma, for my wedding and they did a great job, I plan to return there for this new need. They were the first in the area to have bras for breast cancer survivors.
I'll start the next blog entry with items that I foresee needing for me after the birth of the baby and then follow those with items that the baby will need.
Friday, February 22, 2008
#3 Explaining How We'll Ask
I'd really like to encourage you to "shop outside of the box". I almost always buy: used clothes for myself (as does Rob), organic hygiene products, organic food, local when I can, and try to spend our money at companies that we feel are the most responsible socially and environmentally. We encourage you to do the same. Please do not get us gifts at WalMart or K-Mart, if it's something we need to return, we won't find anything else there that we want. Please try to find goods at locally owned stores and avoid the larger conglomerates - I think you know the ones I'm talking about, while I have less against them, I would like to support the little guy and "keep your money local". I am not trying to solicit gifts of cash, but I've already had one friend comment that this is a bit overwhelming. On myregistry.com, through the mail, and in person, are acceptable ways to pass such gift on to us if that would be easier for you. Any funds we have afterwards will be put into a college fund for Baby Love.
Next, let me rattle off a few things that I want you to keep in mind regarding the following: NO PLASTICS, NO BOTTLES, NO DISPOSABLE DIAPERS, NO BABY WIPES, NO RASH CREAMS, NO PACIFIERS (that falls in with plastics), NO CRIB, NO STROLLER, NO K-MART, NO WALMART. I will list items that we want that are alternatives to these items. There a slew of other things that we wont need and don't want, but I'm sure that we'll get to those.
I want to encourage folks to communicate with each other. If you want to contribute to something that you alone cannot afford, please leave a message to others regarding that item, hopefully, someone else will want to contribute to the same item and we'll be able to get a few items that we really need/want that are out of our price range without breaking our friends' banks, UP WITH COMMUNITARIAN-ISM!! You can also contact my go-to-girl, Tina @ tinagayle77@gmail.com. She'll help you out if you any questions.
I want to reiterate that I will try to list what we want, why we want it, and where you can find it, with a preferred color when appropriate. After the request, I might add a few notes.
REAL EXAMPLE: Cloth diapers (Please see blog 5), (hemp and/or organic if within your budget) we're using cloth to reduce our environmental impact and protect the health of our infant, as disposables have been linked to asthma and greater incident of diaper rash. I haven't worked with these in a long time, but I think that a number of Chinese prefolds or their fancier counterpart, the "contour diaper", are in order, along with some outer waterproof diaper covers. I'd like to try some pocket diapers as seen at the linked site (there are many sources feel free to browse) the Chinese prefolds can be used inside of them. I'm open to many of the new styles like the one size cloth diapers, hemp, wool, fleece, etc. We don't really have a preference yet as this is our first baby! Note: Since we're using cloth, we wont need one of those diaper genies, but we will need a diaper bin, color not important, but really happy with all aspects of the example at the linked site. Also, we'll be needing a large number of baby washcloths (please see blog 5) as we don't want to use disposable wipes either. While I'm at it, I may as well admit to hoping for a gift of 2-3 months of diaper service, here's the Tacoma Diaper service. It's totally a luxury, but a figure having a couple of months would allow me a little time to heal and get a little used to this whole parenting thing, before having to do extra loads of laundry to diaper my baby. For DIY cloth diapers, please see http://www.diapersewing.com/quick_dry_aio.htm
So, I hope I remember to do as I said. I am a little sorry that everyone can't just go to some oversized store, print out a list, and be done with it, but alas, I'm picky and my baby is worth it!
Next, let me rattle off a few things that I want you to keep in mind regarding the following: NO PLASTICS, NO BOTTLES, NO DISPOSABLE DIAPERS, NO BABY WIPES, NO RASH CREAMS, NO PACIFIERS (that falls in with plastics), NO CRIB, NO STROLLER, NO K-MART, NO WALMART. I will list items that we want that are alternatives to these items. There a slew of other things that we wont need and don't want, but I'm sure that we'll get to those.
I want to encourage folks to communicate with each other. If you want to contribute to something that you alone cannot afford, please leave a message to others regarding that item, hopefully, someone else will want to contribute to the same item and we'll be able to get a few items that we really need/want that are out of our price range without breaking our friends' banks, UP WITH COMMUNITARIAN-ISM!! You can also contact my go-to-girl, Tina @ tinagayle77@gmail.com. She'll help you out if you any questions.
I want to reiterate that I will try to list what we want, why we want it, and where you can find it, with a preferred color when appropriate. After the request, I might add a few notes.
REAL EXAMPLE: Cloth diapers (Please see blog 5), (hemp and/or organic if within your budget) we're using cloth to reduce our environmental impact and protect the health of our infant, as disposables have been linked to asthma and greater incident of diaper rash. I haven't worked with these in a long time, but I think that a number of Chinese prefolds or their fancier counterpart, the "contour diaper", are in order, along with some outer waterproof diaper covers. I'd like to try some pocket diapers as seen at the linked site (there are many sources feel free to browse) the Chinese prefolds can be used inside of them. I'm open to many of the new styles like the one size cloth diapers, hemp, wool, fleece, etc. We don't really have a preference yet as this is our first baby! Note: Since we're using cloth, we wont need one of those diaper genies, but we will need a diaper bin, color not important, but really happy with all aspects of the example at the linked site. Also, we'll be needing a large number of baby washcloths (please see blog 5) as we don't want to use disposable wipes either. While I'm at it, I may as well admit to hoping for a gift of 2-3 months of diaper service, here's the Tacoma Diaper service. It's totally a luxury, but a figure having a couple of months would allow me a little time to heal and get a little used to this whole parenting thing, before having to do extra loads of laundry to diaper my baby. For DIY cloth diapers, please see http://www.diapersewing.com/quick_dry_aio.htm
So, I hope I remember to do as I said. I am a little sorry that everyone can't just go to some oversized store, print out a list, and be done with it, but alas, I'm picky and my baby is worth it!
#2 Before you tell me how wrong I am...
I think that most of you that will be reading my posts know me at least a little. For those who don't, I am smart enough to have researched the things that are important to me (and found in this blog) and know to look at the source to truly judge whether or not to trust what is being said. I will try to list those sources whenever possible, and if in the comments there are direct questions, try to answer them.
My husband is trusting me to make the majority of our pre-natal, natal, and infancy parenting decisions, so don't berate him if you don't like what we're doing! He'll just tell you to talk to me about it or more likely shrug you off. I do explain the "why"s to him to ensure he's on board and to address any of his concerns, but once I've explained it to him to the point that he's comfortable, he goes back to watching The Simpsons, happy to know that his wife is happy and taking care of things! I think that he figures that until the baby is born, I have to decide what is best for my body and all that is within it!
I am a doula and to become one, I took a DONA certified class and I've attended 7 hospital births and missed one due to an extremely quick labor. I've taken one introductory class in aromatherapy offered by some of the same people who offered the doula class, so we learned a lot about pregnancy, birth, and infancy uses. I've aided a number of friends and family members in their pregnancies as a resource for comfort measures and someone to bounce questions and concerns off of, however, I have never had the opportunity to be a doula to anyone who intends to birth and parent like I intend to. That may in part be due to the fact that I've always had other jobs, so I tend to squeeze my doula-ing in as I can and have never advertised. Through the last 5 years, I've never lost my passion for helping women with pregnancy and birth and have continued to research the topics despite not being able to attend many births.
I LOVE mothering.com and receive the magazine for which the .com is named, Mothering Magazine (my subscription will be running out in Oct 2008, hint, hint). I find it to be the most reliable resource for attachment parenting and science based pregnancy, birth, and parenting information out there. So, I encourage you to search mothering.com for information re: whatever it is that you disagree with me about before you argue with me about my decisions (and by argue, I mean ask in a caring way, "Are you sure you want to sleep with your baby?", "Are you sure you don't want a few bottles?", etc)
Aside from reading the books recommended through the doula community and keeping up with mothering.com/Mothering Magazine, and randomly google-ing relevant topics, I see a naturopath (ND) who is also a midwife (MW) (she'll be attending my birth). We've been having pregnancy/birth chats for years and she's given me many an insight, blessings on her.
My ND/MW (Dr. P) doesn't attend many births these days, so when she does she always invites another, more active midwife (A.O.) who has the liability insurance to make sure all is covered, so I will have two midwives and a wonderful doula with Rob and I at this birth. A few words about our doula (C.C.); I first met her through the monthly doula meetings that I used to attend. We didn't know each other well, but recognized each other when I saw her at Dr. P's office. When my mother was arrested, I had made an appointment with my Dr. P to help with the turmoil I was going through, she had asked if she could invite another person she sometimes works with in similar situations, I agreed. It was C. C. (as being a doula is not her only skill). It was a wonderful visit that helped me a lot. A few months later, my back was hurting and it was near Valentines Day, so my wonderful husband scheduled me a massage at the local massage school. When I walked in for my appointment, there she was, I had been randomly assigned to C.C., who was finishing her schooling there. I continued to see her once a week for 2 months. She gave me her number and offered to teach me grounding and a few other things that would help me get through this hard time around my mother's incarceration and especially the reason behind it. I had not called her almost a year later, but had her card prominently displayed on my white board, as if that was enough by itself, knowing that I could call. When I became pregnant, I thought about the doulas I had known and who I would want at my birth, it felt more like of a worry than a search, then C.C. came to mind. Everything fell into place, I knew she was my first choice. I called her and left a message. She got back to me within a few days. She admitted that she hadn't been doing births lately as she was concentrating on her massage work. She asked if I was interviewing others, I told her, no, I didn't know anyone else that I wanted at my birth and that Dr. P was attending as primary MW. I think the first statement made her feel honored and the second, excited as she had never attended a birth with Dr. P, someone she had been friends with and had worked with on other things. She decided that in August, she would just keep her massage schedule light and say yes to me!! At my next appointment with Dr. P, I told her that C.C. had agreed to be my doula, she turned to A.O. and said, "This is a good thing." She said it in such a way, like a minister, blessing the congregation, in all seriousness, with a depth that can't truly be communicated. A great peace had settled upon me when C.C. had agreed, Dr. P's statement only cemented it. This information isn't really relevant to the title, but I couldn't resist sharing the story as it makes me very happy to think about how well things are coming together!
So, anyway, I just want you to trust that I have researched and soul-searched my decisions. Whether it be how I birth my child, or asking folks not to gift plastics, there is undoubtedly a reason behind it. Please be kind in how you ask why I would make the decisions that I make and I will try to be kind in explaining them. Besides, don't people always say, "Parents know what's best for their children.", even those parents that don't really research their decisions? Somehow they seem to be the ones that get the least amount of questioning and doubt expressed regarding their decisions. *forehead slap* (can anyone tell that I'm tired of defending my decisions and hearing about those of other's that I don't agree with, but try to stay polite while dying a little on the inside? pregnancy: a great time to be pissed off!)
My husband is trusting me to make the majority of our pre-natal, natal, and infancy parenting decisions, so don't berate him if you don't like what we're doing! He'll just tell you to talk to me about it or more likely shrug you off. I do explain the "why"s to him to ensure he's on board and to address any of his concerns, but once I've explained it to him to the point that he's comfortable, he goes back to watching The Simpsons, happy to know that his wife is happy and taking care of things! I think that he figures that until the baby is born, I have to decide what is best for my body and all that is within it!
I am a doula and to become one, I took a DONA certified class and I've attended 7 hospital births and missed one due to an extremely quick labor. I've taken one introductory class in aromatherapy offered by some of the same people who offered the doula class, so we learned a lot about pregnancy, birth, and infancy uses. I've aided a number of friends and family members in their pregnancies as a resource for comfort measures and someone to bounce questions and concerns off of, however, I have never had the opportunity to be a doula to anyone who intends to birth and parent like I intend to. That may in part be due to the fact that I've always had other jobs, so I tend to squeeze my doula-ing in as I can and have never advertised. Through the last 5 years, I've never lost my passion for helping women with pregnancy and birth and have continued to research the topics despite not being able to attend many births.
I LOVE mothering.com and receive the magazine for which the .com is named, Mothering Magazine (my subscription will be running out in Oct 2008, hint, hint). I find it to be the most reliable resource for attachment parenting and science based pregnancy, birth, and parenting information out there. So, I encourage you to search mothering.com for information re: whatever it is that you disagree with me about before you argue with me about my decisions (and by argue, I mean ask in a caring way, "Are you sure you want to sleep with your baby?", "Are you sure you don't want a few bottles?", etc)
Aside from reading the books recommended through the doula community and keeping up with mothering.com/Mothering Magazine, and randomly google-ing relevant topics, I see a naturopath (ND) who is also a midwife (MW) (she'll be attending my birth). We've been having pregnancy/birth chats for years and she's given me many an insight, blessings on her.
My ND/MW (Dr. P) doesn't attend many births these days, so when she does she always invites another, more active midwife (A.O.) who has the liability insurance to make sure all is covered, so I will have two midwives and a wonderful doula with Rob and I at this birth. A few words about our doula (C.C.); I first met her through the monthly doula meetings that I used to attend. We didn't know each other well, but recognized each other when I saw her at Dr. P's office. When my mother was arrested, I had made an appointment with my Dr. P to help with the turmoil I was going through, she had asked if she could invite another person she sometimes works with in similar situations, I agreed. It was C. C. (as being a doula is not her only skill). It was a wonderful visit that helped me a lot. A few months later, my back was hurting and it was near Valentines Day, so my wonderful husband scheduled me a massage at the local massage school. When I walked in for my appointment, there she was, I had been randomly assigned to C.C., who was finishing her schooling there. I continued to see her once a week for 2 months. She gave me her number and offered to teach me grounding and a few other things that would help me get through this hard time around my mother's incarceration and especially the reason behind it. I had not called her almost a year later, but had her card prominently displayed on my white board, as if that was enough by itself, knowing that I could call. When I became pregnant, I thought about the doulas I had known and who I would want at my birth, it felt more like of a worry than a search, then C.C. came to mind. Everything fell into place, I knew she was my first choice. I called her and left a message. She got back to me within a few days. She admitted that she hadn't been doing births lately as she was concentrating on her massage work. She asked if I was interviewing others, I told her, no, I didn't know anyone else that I wanted at my birth and that Dr. P was attending as primary MW. I think the first statement made her feel honored and the second, excited as she had never attended a birth with Dr. P, someone she had been friends with and had worked with on other things. She decided that in August, she would just keep her massage schedule light and say yes to me!! At my next appointment with Dr. P, I told her that C.C. had agreed to be my doula, she turned to A.O. and said, "This is a good thing." She said it in such a way, like a minister, blessing the congregation, in all seriousness, with a depth that can't truly be communicated. A great peace had settled upon me when C.C. had agreed, Dr. P's statement only cemented it. This information isn't really relevant to the title, but I couldn't resist sharing the story as it makes me very happy to think about how well things are coming together!
So, anyway, I just want you to trust that I have researched and soul-searched my decisions. Whether it be how I birth my child, or asking folks not to gift plastics, there is undoubtedly a reason behind it. Please be kind in how you ask why I would make the decisions that I make and I will try to be kind in explaining them. Besides, don't people always say, "Parents know what's best for their children.", even those parents that don't really research their decisions? Somehow they seem to be the ones that get the least amount of questioning and doubt expressed regarding their decisions. *forehead slap* (can anyone tell that I'm tired of defending my decisions and hearing about those of other's that I don't agree with, but try to stay polite while dying a little on the inside? pregnancy: a great time to be pissed off!)
#1 My first blog entry!
I'm willing to admit, I wouldn't call myself a writer, but here I am. I'm motivated to do this so that those I love and more specifically, for those that love me (and my husband and our child), know what I and my husband want as gifts for the impending birth of our first child.
[A little sidebar here, my husband doesn't actually know what we want or why, but he does trust me to know. I like to add him out of respect and love!]
I also want to warn folks that this blog may, at times, become more of a list than a literary quest. It is my goal to let you know what I want, why I want it, and hopefully, where you can find it. I want everyone to keep in mind that if you can find what we've requested elsewhere for cheaper, from a more environmentally friendly source, or gently used, by all means follow that path. Another aspect that can be negotiable is color (I (we) like blues and greens and natural stain, as you can tell from our house interior, but some antique pieces from Rob's family are a dark stain and Rob's favorite color is orange *shrug*), be it in fabric, paint, pattern, or stain, I'll try to list a preference, however, if it's cheaper in another color (it happens on e-bay) - I can hardly argue against saving a few dollars over a color. Gender specific colors are cute, but unnecessary. No matter the gender, baby'll have Seahawks and Mariners garb!! Oh, yeah, we won't be finding the gender out until birth, so the official baby shower will be after baby is born! (At least I thought so until my Aunt announced that she was going to throw one for us in June, she said we can have another after if we want.)
I want to point out that the most important aspect is the "why". Why we do want one thing, why we do not want others. I am continually looking into toxins in the home and the environment, living simply (more a goal, than a reality at this point), and over all, what I want to teach our child(ren).
When considering items for purchase, please take a look at Washington Toxics Coalitions to find products that are listed as the safest options of whatever it is that you are looking to gift. I want everyone to remember that just because it's on our store shelves, doesn't mean that it's safe. Over the last few years, we've seen toys, bibs, food, cribs, and medication removed from our stores and I promise, we'll see more.
There will also be items that we don't want. We intend to bed-share with our child, therefore, we're going to be getting a larger bed, not a crib. I want a Family Sleeper, which is my preferred for on a regular basis, it's made from natural safe materials and even has recycled water bottles as part of the make-up, for those nights that baby doesn't sleep with us, a play yard will work. Also, I intend to "baby-wear", carry the baby in a sling while doing other stuff, whether baby is awake or asleep. See the pictures above. I'm looking forward to having a small play yard, but haven't picked one out yet, I want to look them up on Consumer Reports.
Now,if it isn't listed here as something we want or don't want, it may be because we haven't thought about that particular "thing". Please feel free to ask us or someone we'll list later as another reference (in case you want it to be a surprise!). In looking at our lists, I would hope that some things would be "no brainers", if we sleep with the baby and I'm wearing the baby the majority of time, do we need one of those one way listening devises often found in nurseries? Probably not, but, I would like a selection of cloth slings and a couple for daddy!
Now the big question for me: someone will inevitably gift something that we don't want or need. Do we, after politely expressing gratitude in front of others, give it back to you with an explanation of why we don't want/need it, and ask that you return it (this will allow you to get your money back [as I will only get store credit], save me the trouble of a return, and allow me to inform you of our requests)? Or, do I grin and bare it, hope that I can find a store that will take it back (if there isn't a gift receipt), and then try to find something from the store that we actually want, with the potential of this repeating with every gift giving opportunity? I'm leaning towards gentle honesty with the excuse of pregnancy having shortened my polite stick! Of course, I'll take it as it comes. You'll have to excuse me, I'm already cantankerous.
Well, I feel that I've been my overly honest self already. I hope I still have friends and family who will see the benefit in my requests and even if they don't, respect me enough to follow through on them!
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