I think that most of you that will be reading my posts know me at least a little. For those who don't, I am smart enough to have researched the things that are important to me (and found in this blog) and know to look at the source to truly judge whether or not to trust what is being said. I will try to list those sources whenever possible, and if in the comments there are direct questions, try to answer them.
My husband is trusting me to make the majority of our pre-natal, natal, and infancy parenting decisions, so don't berate him if you don't like what we're doing! He'll just tell you to talk to me about it or more likely shrug you off. I do explain the "why"s to him to ensure he's on board and to address any of his concerns, but once I've explained it to him to the point that he's comfortable, he goes back to watching The Simpsons, happy to know that his wife is happy and taking care of things! I think that he figures that until the baby is born, I have to decide what is best for my body and all that is within it!
I am a doula and to become one, I took a DONA certified class and I've attended 7 hospital births and missed one due to an extremely quick labor. I've taken one introductory class in aromatherapy offered by some of the same people who offered the doula class, so we learned a lot about pregnancy, birth, and infancy uses. I've aided a number of friends and family members in their pregnancies as a resource for comfort measures and someone to bounce questions and concerns off of, however, I have never had the opportunity to be a doula to anyone who intends to birth and parent like I intend to. That may in part be due to the fact that I've always had other jobs, so I tend to squeeze my doula-ing in as I can and have never advertised. Through the last 5 years, I've never lost my passion for helping women with pregnancy and birth and have continued to research the topics despite not being able to attend many births.
I LOVE mothering.com and receive the magazine for which the .com is named, Mothering Magazine (my subscription will be running out in Oct 2008, hint, hint). I find it to be the most reliable resource for attachment parenting and science based pregnancy, birth, and parenting information out there. So, I encourage you to search mothering.com for information re: whatever it is that you disagree with me about before you argue with me about my decisions (and by argue, I mean ask in a caring way, "Are you sure you want to sleep with your baby?", "Are you sure you don't want a few bottles?", etc)
Aside from reading the books recommended through the doula community and keeping up with mothering.com/Mothering Magazine, and randomly google-ing relevant topics, I see a naturopath (ND) who is also a midwife (MW) (she'll be attending my birth). We've been having pregnancy/birth chats for years and she's given me many an insight, blessings on her.
My ND/MW (Dr. P) doesn't attend many births these days, so when she does she always invites another, more active midwife (A.O.) who has the liability insurance to make sure all is covered, so I will have two midwives and a wonderful doula with Rob and I at this birth. A few words about our doula (C.C.); I first met her through the monthly doula meetings that I used to attend. We didn't know each other well, but recognized each other when I saw her at Dr. P's office. When my mother was arrested, I had made an appointment with my Dr. P to help with the turmoil I was going through, she had asked if she could invite another person she sometimes works with in similar situations, I agreed. It was C. C. (as being a doula is not her only skill). It was a wonderful visit that helped me a lot. A few months later, my back was hurting and it was near Valentines Day, so my wonderful husband scheduled me a massage at the local massage school. When I walked in for my appointment, there she was, I had been randomly assigned to C.C., who was finishing her schooling there. I continued to see her once a week for 2 months. She gave me her number and offered to teach me grounding and a few other things that would help me get through this hard time around my mother's incarceration and especially the reason behind it. I had not called her almost a year later, but had her card prominently displayed on my white board, as if that was enough by itself, knowing that I could call. When I became pregnant, I thought about the doulas I had known and who I would want at my birth, it felt more like of a worry than a search, then C.C. came to mind. Everything fell into place, I knew she was my first choice. I called her and left a message. She got back to me within a few days. She admitted that she hadn't been doing births lately as she was concentrating on her massage work. She asked if I was interviewing others, I told her, no, I didn't know anyone else that I wanted at my birth and that Dr. P was attending as primary MW. I think the first statement made her feel honored and the second, excited as she had never attended a birth with Dr. P, someone she had been friends with and had worked with on other things. She decided that in August, she would just keep her massage schedule light and say yes to me!! At my next appointment with Dr. P, I told her that C.C. had agreed to be my doula, she turned to A.O. and said, "This is a good thing." She said it in such a way, like a minister, blessing the congregation, in all seriousness, with a depth that can't truly be communicated. A great peace had settled upon me when C.C. had agreed, Dr. P's statement only cemented it. This information isn't really relevant to the title, but I couldn't resist sharing the story as it makes me very happy to think about how well things are coming together!
So, anyway, I just want you to trust that I have researched and soul-searched my decisions. Whether it be how I birth my child, or asking folks not to gift plastics, there is undoubtedly a reason behind it. Please be kind in how you ask why I would make the decisions that I make and I will try to be kind in explaining them. Besides, don't people always say, "Parents know what's best for their children.", even those parents that don't really research their decisions? Somehow they seem to be the ones that get the least amount of questioning and doubt expressed regarding their decisions. *forehead slap* (can anyone tell that I'm tired of defending my decisions and hearing about those of other's that I don't agree with, but try to stay polite while dying a little on the inside? pregnancy: a great time to be pissed off!)
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