#8 Blessingway/Baby Shower(s)

The first time I had heard of Blessingways was during my doula class, then a year or so later, a friend of mine had one that I was invited too. Ever since then, I've known that I want one too.

"Blessingways are celebrations of pregnant and adoptive women and their transition into motherhood. These special mother-centered gatherings offer friends and family a fresh approach to honoring, supporting, nurturing,
and encouraging mothers-to-be." - from Blessingway.net

With my mother incarcerated, it has become even more important to me to bring those that love and support me nearer to me. I've been rather estranged from my mother for a while, but she always came through for the big things, like my wedding, and I am realizing that I am missing out with not having her here with me during this time when I've heard that mothers and daughters really bond in a way they had never known. I need to have the women (and men) that care about me around me and supporting me in a way that is undeniable. I do keep in mind that I am now free to find women to fill the role of "mother" and I have many!! (Gramma, Cathy, Karen, Stephanie, Renee, etc)

While all that I am officially requesting from the Blessingway, is the presence of my friends and family and their participation in the "ritual", I do want to mention that as far as gifts go, they're for the mama (that's me, hehe). This is your opportunity to gift something, that if you're a woman, would've wanted for yourself (but with my picky-ness in mind), either in pregnancy ( a leg waxing), or after (postpartum cloth pads), or both (organic lotions/spa basket). My doula does do massage and a few other services that I really benefit from, but it's not covered in the doula package until the birth, so I'd take that as a gift as well. I'll make sure that Tina, tinagayle77@gmail.com (my go-to-girl) has my doula's number and the number of my favorite leg-waxer! If you're wondering where to buy natural/organic stuff, I'd try your local natural foods store (a fruit basket or gift certificate sounds great too!). In Tacoma, that would be Marlene's, on 38th St (mall side of the freeway), next to Taco Bell. The internet is a great source, as long as you're able to view the ingredient list. I really like Lush.com, it's a great company and they actually have a few stores in the U.S. now, even one in Seattle!! Another e-store is Earth Mama Angel Baby, good stuff! (In general products have to be at least 70% organic to call themselves organic and usually clearly state their percentage on the package.) I've already mentioned, in previous blogs, a few things that would easily be considered mama gifts, check out the list in blog 7 for other ideas! I've also been adding things to MyRegistry.com like crazy!!

As far as the ritual part of the Blessingway, I'll work with a close friend or relative to get all of that sorted out and send out the details with the invitations. You can probably expect something like a request for your personal positive birth stories or moments, prayers for the health and future of our baby and new family, a poem that inspired you or that you wrote, a single loose flower, a candle to light at the Blessingway and again at the birth, an offer of help for after the baby is born, such as dishes, laundry, vacuuming, a foot massage, and one of my favorites, meal prep or drop-off! (Remember, Rob's a vegetarian and he should be taken care of too!) Whatever strikes your fancy! I plan on doing a belly cast, probably before people arrive or maybe later in pregnancy, I'll get that all worked out later!

Speaking of later, I had anticipated asking for the baby shower to happen after the baby is born, as we're not going to find out the sex of the baby until it's born or if Rob has his way, until it goes off to college, that way folks will know what colors to buy (not that I'm a fan of a strictly pink or strictly blue wardrobe - hint hint). Well, my Aunt Cathy has different plans (we're related, can you tell? *we do what we want*). She says that we can have one before and one after, that there are things that we'll need before the baby comes and plenty of non-gender items to gift. This is a good time to remind folks that there are more neutrals than just yellow and green, there are soft browns, creams, earth tones, and such. Girls can wear a lovely blue. She's planning the pre-birth party for the last weekend of June, and I know that it will be at our family church. She also said someone else can plan the post-birth party - any takers? I figure that I'll plan the Blessingway for August 2nd. We can wait until later to plan the other, probably for September.

So, all those that would like to attend a party - there will be ample opportunity. Please go to whatever shower you'd like, if there is something specific you'd like to gift the baby, pick which ever party best suits you and the gift. Regardless of whether or not your going gift anything other than your presence, you should come to at least one of them and the Blessingway!