#11 Mother's Day and updates

Yesterday was quite full! It started at 10am, I called my friend April, who had agreed to go North with me. I asked her if she could reschedule her 1:15 appointment for earlier, alas, she could not, but did realize that her appointment was for 1:00, all of this to get up to Seattle for a 1:00 DVD signing of one of Rob's favorite new shows on Adult Swim, "Tim and Eric's Awesome Show, Great Job". I called Scarecrow Video (the host of the signing) and they were kind enough to reserve a copy and have it signed if I didn't get there early enough! We did end up getting there in time. Tim was unenthusiastic, Eric was kind and thanked us for coming, their regular guest on the show, David, was flirtatious with April and wrote all over the paper part of the DVD cover, over the other autographs, and included both his home and cell phone numbers!! I would have been mad, but I knew Rob would get a kick out of it all! David did draw a goose on the back side of the DVD cover and told us that he grew up on farms in Wisconsin, to this April said, "I'm from Wisconsin, too!" This led to her being bilked out of a $10 "donation" for 2 CD's that he'd made! April generously passed them onto Rob after listening to 1 1/2 songs! These are Rob's anniversary gifts! After that, we went to Westlake Center to a store called Lush! I got some shoe/toe dust for Rob's work boots, a couple of deodorants, one for now with tea tree and citrus in it and another that's not so strong smelling for when the baby is born. I also got a couple of massage bars, just an excuse to get Rob to rub on me!! (OK, also to help my skin stretch.) From there, we went to the Pikes Place Market. I found Rob, some strong blue cheese, morels, and a cheesecake treat to share! I'm feeling like a very good little wifey!

As far as updates, after the Pike Place Market, we went to get my birth ball! I lovely craigslist find, only $15. I haven't pumped it up yet, so I'm hopeful that the little chit didn't screw me! She seemed nice and friendly, so I have a good feeling about it. I had to drive out to Kirkland to get it, but from Seattle, it was well worth it. I also got a "ball chair" in Kirkland, for only $20! I didn't get to meet the woman who listed it, but I found out from her husband that she's a naturopath!! All in all, it was a very worthwhile day!!

Today, I went with my Gramma, Aunt S., and cousin to our annual "Daughters of All Ages" event at church. Last year when the singing about moms started I took my little cousin for a walk around the church, this year, only one song was really about mothers, so I stayed strong and stayed. I tried to think of it as being sung for my Gramma, but I still couldn't bring myself to sing along. I only cried once and that was during the opening prayer. I did however have a melt down before my Aunt picked me up to go! Afterwards, at Gramma and Grampa's, I felt morose. My Aunt took me home and helped me out for at least an hour, maybe more, in the basement, we really got a lot done! She even took stuff with her to be dropped off at the Goodwill.

With Mother's Day fast approaching, I really resent my Mom right now. I feel like she's supposed to be here for me, she's the one with only adult children and no job, who can be there for me to go shopping with, to clean with, to stay with me after the baby is born. Who is going to help me now? Gramma can't go up and down the stairs to do laundry, stay overnight, or clean the house. My Mom's sisters, Aunts C. and S., have children and jobs and while they live close enough to visit on the weekends, not quite close enough to stay late into the evenings or overnight and leave for home in the morning. On my Dad's side, he's got a wonderful wife, who lives with him in Spokane, a sister, Aunt G., and a sister-in-law, Aunt SW, here in town. Aunt G., I think that, even with only adult children, has far too much going on to stay with me, but will be willing to visit as often as she can. Aunt SW, was friends with my Mom before becoming my aunt and has known me since in utero and saw me the same day I was born, has only grown children and I think less on her plate and is the most likely to be available to help me in the way that my Mom would've. I have to talk to Aunt S. about her availability, I don't doubt her willingness. I do have another friend R., that is hoping to come over from Spokane, when the baby is born. She's hoping she can get 3-5 days, it will depend on her employer. She's got a son, who is about 367 days younger than me. R. may never have any grandchildren by him, so we have adopted each other, she's even picked out the title she wants my child/ren to call her! If she is able to make it, it will certainly be a blessing, I just can't count on it.

In writing this out, it helps me to see that there are folks to help, even if just a little, unfortunately, I still have an ache about my Mom. She's left a mess for me to deal with and she's not here to help me with it or my pregnancy. A whole new hurt in a very painful time, combined with a pregnancy and all the emotions that that brings.